barely hanging
March 9, 2007
Lately, I have been in a reflective mood. That would mean that I’m silent most of the time and just doing my work( i was told that this mood make others feel uncomfortable in my workplace). I can’t help it. There are lots of thoughts, ideas and questions in my head. Sometimes i do have answers, but most of the time i don’t.And this would make me think more and be quiet most of the time. There were instances that i would like to directly address my thoughts to the people around me, however, i would be stop by the thought or notion that they don’t know about me and they wouldn’t understand me at all.I was right. I just wished that i have realized this sooner.
It pained me so much to realize that the people i thought knew me don’t know me at all. I have been judged, mocked, perceived to be that person that i am not so many times. I have fought this battle and i’ve won. I have proven my worth as a person and now i am again in this battle. Why do i have to keep on proving my worth? Sometimes it gets so tiring to build up your defenses. Sometimes, i don’t want to fight anymore. Sometimes, i would just like them to win. But there’s this tiny weeny voice inside me that would scream at me to hang in there. I have been trying butI am barely hanging.
March 9th, 2007 at 8:50 am
Just hang in there my friend. Sometimes they just need to be told. And yes it is true that sometimes you thought that your friends know you that well but surprisingly THEY DON’T but it doesn’t mean that they are not your good friends maybe they are not just as sensitive as you are. If you are tired of hanging in there just let me know I have a spare arm to hang with you. Love Yah! and your inaanak sends the same message to you,